


Where Do We Go From Here?

by CreekTerrarium



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: #Clint vs 9 Realms, #Hawkeye in The Adventures of Yggdrasil, Angst, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Spoilers, Clint Barton Text, Did he fall through a portal during convergence in Thor 2?, Drama, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Is he like, MIA!Clint, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Stark Poker Night, Where is Barton?, Which realm would he be trapped in?, Whingy Barton, trapped in Asgard?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-02
Updated: 2014-04-02
Packaged: 2018-01-17 22:52:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1405537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreekTerrarium/pseuds/CreekTerrarium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Winter Soldier faces the past he does not remember, and unsure if he even wants to. He is joined by an unexpected voice of reason that wonders if he would seek out a future after years of conditioning teaching him that he is nothing more than a bringer of death and destruction. [Winter Soldier Spoilers]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where Do We Go From Here?

**Spoilers for Winter Soldier**

* * *

He stared at the glass plaque that depicted the life of a stranger.

James Buchanan Barnes.

"Bucky," Steve Rogers, Captain America had called him.

The man's gaze had penetrated him, face morphed in confused recognition, like he was staring at a ghost.

The Winter Soldier was a master of assassination, a warrior unchallenged by any that had dared to face him. Until his latest target would show the world the fifty year old secret that was his existence and the people he worked for.

Now he walked the streets of the US alone. No masters to take orders from, no lives to end, no purpose other than to keep moving and remain hidden from the eyes of those he had wronged.

"I would have thought you would be long gone."

He tilted his head so he could see who had spoken in his peripheral.

It was the red-headed woman that had become his secondary target after he had recognised that she was aligned with the Captain.

"It's weird isn't it? The life that you supposedly led right in front of you and yet you have no memory?"

She wasn't looking at him. Instead at the black and white picture of James Barnes that was unquestionable him, but with a blurb explaining a life so very different to who he was.

"Whoever that man is, he is still dead. Steve Rogers was a fool in believing that he could be brought back," he told her.

"That man has this ability to keep on hoping, even when all hope is lost."

"And you? Have you come to turn me in? Punish me for my crimes?"

"I don't have anyone to hand you over to. Besides, you've managed to shoot me twice and that's enough for me. You can be proud to say that you're the only one who has ever managed to do that," she said.

"Twice?"

"We've met before. Back when I worked for the KGB. Shot a scientist by shooting through me," she told him.

"The past is irrelevant. I only live in the now. The present is the only thing that matters."

"How did they do it? Make you forget?"

"I don't know. I have forgotten," he said, irritated that so much of his mind had been compromised and tainted. It limited his knowledge of the world around him. How many were out there that he had caused grievance to? Any moment his body could be littered with red dots, and before he could react, he would be a bullet ridden mess. He was brought out of his thoughts by the woman who spoke again.

"Where do you plan to go now?"

"There are always those who want others to disappear. It is what I do."

"You have the choice to change that."

"No, I don't," he said, shaking his head.

"You can choose another side."

"And what side is that, yours? Steve Rogers?"

"It has become a little unclear what we are anymore," she said. "But you've got one thing right and that there will always be those who want others to disappear, and even though we are no longer SHIELD, what we fight for remains, and that is all that matters."

"Both SHIELD and HYDRA are no more. It would seem that one cannot exist without the other."

"That's where you're wrong. It does not matter that on paper both have disbanded. While we don't have a fancy building or logo'd uniforms, we're still here, and I'm sure that there are HYDRA agents still out there, waiting to rise again," she retorted. "What was it that Zemo said? Cut off one head, two more will take it's place. Time can only tell when HYDRA will show themselves again."

"So what of you then?"

"SHIELD, or me specifically?"

"Both."

"SHIELD agents have gone off to find new work placements. Many of them are trained in very specialised fields, and are the best of the best so companies would have little reason not to take them on board. Me? I'm here and there. I think I have at least five years worth of leave and perhaps it's time I take it."

"The others?"

"You have to be a little more specific," she said, although she was well aware of whom he was referring to.

"The super soldier."

"I haven't heard from him. It isn't like I have to keep tabs on him anymore."

"Not required, but you do regardless."

She finally turned to look at him, meeting his gaze. Dark eyes met lighter ones, though this time his weren't filled with malice and rage. They seemed unfocused, like he was looking at her, but at the same time, was lost in his own world. It made her wonder what torture he had to experience that ultimately made him the infamous Winter Soldier.

"All I know is that he's safe, for now. Called in a few favours, made sure he was as off the grid as I could get him."

"He will look for me," he said.

"Remember what I said about his ability to hope? Even if you've given up, he won't. He never does until it's 100% impossible to do anything else."

"I do not want to face him," he admitted after a few moments of silence, the other museum-goers milling about, snapping pictures of them with statures and reading with interest and wonderment about Captain America and his Howling Commandoes.

"Why?"

"Because he is wasting his time trying to seek something out that cannot be found."

"You don't believe that you'll remember?"

"I do not remember anything prior to these past few days. I would assume that after every mission, such information about my past experiences are no longer valid and should be removed as they do not benefit me. All that remains is my servitude, and my abilities to complete whatever task they set for me."

"What if there was a way?"

"This Bucky," he gestured at the figure before him. "Do you think he would be proud of who he has become. I may not know the absolute truth of my past actions, but the man that Steve remembers is but a memory lost to me as all the others are. I rather not think of who it is I would become should my past be set free."

"At least you wouldn't be living in the shadow of who you really are."

"Perhaps it is better this way. I am anew, a blank slate."

"I just warn you that Steve can be very convincing, but not so easily convinced himself."

"I will keep that in mind. Did you not say that you have five years worth of leave?"

"Yeah. Not really sure where to start. I sort of revealed myself to the world on television. After living as a spy for so long, it will be a new experience with the rest of mankind being able to know who I truly am."

"Truly? I would say that we all have our secrets, and our deepest ones will remain buried for as long as we wish."

"Wise for a guy who tells me that he has a few days worth of memories."

"All I know is that trust is something I cannot afford to give. I only truly trust myself."

"I was like that for the longest time. But maybe you'll find someone you can put you're trust into."

"Why?"

"I suppose it makes you feel less alone. If you fail there will be someone who will try to help you succeed."

In that moment her phone chose to hum and she pulled it from her pocket. Quickly glancing over the text she smirked to herself.

"On that note I'll leave you here. I know I won't be able to convince you to do anything you don't want to do, but just a word of advice, try not to fight those who want to help."

"I would assume that the last people I let help me gave me a cybernetic limb and a job of questionable intentions."

Natasha cracked a small smile at that.

"I suppose with your track record you have a right to be a little cautious, but not everyone is like that."

"The world would have ended long ago if that was true."

He caught her wrist gently just before she left his presence.

"Whatever has happened, I do hope that we do not have to meet again in such circumstances."

Natasha took it as his way of apologising.

"The feeling is mutual. Until next time."

"You are certain we will meet again?"

"People like us, we always run into each other again. The world...hell..this universe is not like it once was, and you'll learn that you can never expect that tomorrow will be anything like today. That tomorrow might come and who knows what will happen, but maybe it will mean our paths cross again."

"If that is true, then until then."

~o0o~

_Okay, so explain to me why I was not informed of this MASSIVE shit storm that has torn up another city, but that I'm out of the job because the people I work for don't even EXIST anymore. Also what the hell has Stark got himself recently, and isn't Thor back in town? Last time I go on a private retreat. Seems like everything goes downhill when I'm not around. Anyway, call me if you choose to grace me with an explanation. Poker night is still on at Stark's right? Probably the only way I'll get some dollars as I no longer have a JOB. Hope to hear from you soon because I rather not rely of Twitter being my sole source of information._

-Clint

* * *

**Just an idea/piece that came to mind in the aftermath of Winter Soldier. Un-beta'd and written at 4 in the morning so I apologise for the mistakes. Thank you to SmokyStorm for the location information.  
**


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